


guilt (the five senses).

by sleepwithoutdreaming



Category: Little Mix (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/F, F/M, Unrequited Love, smut but not really smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-14
Updated: 2013-08-14
Packaged: 2017-12-23 10:29:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/925292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepwithoutdreaming/pseuds/sleepwithoutdreaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leigh-Anne is riddled with guilt of what happens behind closed doors, but this guilt is very different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	guilt (the five senses).

**Author's Note:**

> written for baby sister [princess ang](http://itunescuddle.tumblr.com/) sometime last year, just finally decided to post it now.

Leigh-Anne knows this is wrong.  
She can sense the guilt lurking in the back of her mind.  
It haunts her; it sits there behind her closed eyelids, taunting her with visions of stolen kisses and hand-holding and bright smiles that dictated love.  
She can see the guilt. She knows what it looks like, exactly down to every detail.  
Guilt looks like platinum blonde curls and sparkling blue eyes. Guilt looks like pale skin, round curves, and long legs that go on for miles.  


Guilt looks like everything that she’s ever wanted, and so much more.  


\--------

  
The guilt is also tangible.  
At times, she’s able to touch and feel it as if it was a person.  
To her, guilt feels like soft skin and shaking flesh beneath her fingertips, feels like a rapid heartbeat and heated kisses from cherry red lips. Guilt feels like freshly manicured nails scratching at her back. Guilt feels like tears running down her face when the other occupant of her bed walks out of the room and doesn’t stay the night.  


Guilt feels like being in love with someone who could never love you back.

\--------

  
The scent of guilt is such an insignificant thing, but ends up meaning so much.  
Leigh smells guilt everywhere.  
She can smells guilt on her clothes, she can smell it on her sheets and pillows, and she can smell how it seems to linger on every surface in her home.  
Even when she’s around Jesy and Jade, she can smell the guilt on them in small waves.  
And when Zayn comes around, even through the smell of cigarette smoke and fancy cologne, she can still catch the scent of guilt leaving him.

And that’s where the smell is the strongest.

\--------

  
Leigh-Anne is a good listener. She listens to what people have to say and take it to heart.  
So when guilt talks to her, she listens.  
She listens to the shuddered gasps and moans, the “oh my God” and the “Leigh baby, please” and the high pitched keening noises that declare release.  
She listens to the praises of what she’s done. She listens to contented sighs and giggles as she runs her hands softly up and down guilt’s ribcage.  
She even listens when guilt creeps out of her bed and hears the pitter-patter of footsteps leaving her room.  
Leigh listens to the early morning phone calls and hushes voices, the little “I miss you too” and the “you wanna come over tonight?” and the worst, the “I love you’s” that come from two pairs of lips, of which neither belong to her.  
She listens to the front door open and the sound of two people talking, she listens as their footsteps ascend the staircase and hurriedly rush to another bedroom. She hears the smacking of lips and the faint sound of clothes hitting the floor.  
She lets the tears escape when she listens to the moaning and sighing that she’s not responsible for making, and when a name that isn’t hers leaves the mouth of guilt.  
But she tries not to listen to the sobs that rip from her throat and the “why?” that’s in her head.  


\--------

  
The worst thing about guilt is that guilt has a taste.  
Guilt has multiple parts to its taste. It’s sweet, sour, salty, creamy, tangy, bland, and most of all, bitter.  
When guilt grabs Leigh, Jesy, and Jade into a group hug and whispers “I love you guys so much”, it tastes sweet.  
When guilt is sad, it tastes sour.  
When guilt smiles softly and fondly at something, it tastes creamy.  
Guilt tastes like a mix of salty and tangy when being carefree, this amazing mix of tastes that leaves people wanting more.  
And Leigh tastes all of that when guilt is in her bed.  
She tastes it when she presses kisses down a pale neck, teeth scraping at the skin. She tastes it when her tongue laps down curves and soft plains of flesh. She tastes it when her mouth and fingers move south and guilt whimpers out her name.  
She tastes it when guilt’s body goes rigid and then relaxes into her touch.  


\--------

  
One day, Leigh-Anne realizes that all of her sense are heightened and that everything is changing.  
She can see the sad look that Jesy sends her, and the knowing, almost sympathetic, look that Zayn gives off the next time he’s around. She can touch Jade’s hand when the girl rubs a comforting swipe over Leigh’s shoulder. She can smell when guilt enters the room and beckons Leigh to follow her. She listens to the whispered “make love to me” that leaves guilt’s lips, and of course, she complies. She tastes guilt’s skin on her tongue.  
And when guilt pins her down to the bed, all of her senses come to a head.  
She can feel the lips, tongue, and teeth along her body. She can touch guilt’s hair and run her fingers through them and pull on the locks. She can smell guilt’s scent on every square inch of her body. She can listen to her own breathy moans and screams as her body arches in pleasure when she comes down from her natural high. And when guilt trails its lips up Leigh’s body and meets her lips, she can taste the sweet goodbye in the gesture.  
She can taste the sour “we can’t do this anymore” fresh on her tongue.  
She tastes the salt from her tears and the bitter pecks to her lips given thereafter.  
She can taste the creamy “I’m sorry” and the bland sound of retreating footsteps out of her bedroom.  
Leigh-Anne Pinnock can sense the aching feeling that Perrie Edwards has broken her heart.

And her guilt finally leaves her.


End file.
